Sometimes you have to laugh!
I have an appointment with Dr. Cataract Surgery (ophthalmologist) to plan for getting my implant (lens) cleaned up. I know it needs doing–he knows it needs doing, but in order to squeeze out as many appointments as my insurance will pay for, we have to plan ahead for it by having a pre-appointment to assure what we already confirmed in my last appointment.
I called today to ask Dr. Optometrist (same office) to get an appointment for an exam on the same day so I could get more contact lenses. I am nearly out.
“We’re sorry. Before you can see Dr. O, you need to have an all clear after a yearly eye exam…you’ll have to get a clean bill of health. That’s not what your appointment is for on the 3rd. We’ll need to make another appointment for that. Then you can see Dr. O.”
[We went through this 3-4 times.]
Finally I said, “I j-u-s-t need a contact lens prescription within the next two weeks. Now, if we can’t do that there on the 3rd or before, I can go to a different optometrist tomorrow who will not care if Dr. Cataract Surgery gives me a clean bill of health. I just saw Dr. Retina three weeks ago. He said my eye is in great health. Oh! And, HE GAVE ME A VICTORY HUG because his retina repair work looks so good.”
She scheduled an appointment with Dr. Optometrist for me on the 3rd.
Apparently, there were super powers in that victory hug!
Being the nosy Mrs. Kravitz that I am, I noticed that a silver truck with a trailer was doing something odd in our parking lot. The driver worked feverishly backing up and repositioning several times to get the trailer positioned juuuussssst right (except it wasn’t parked right at all) into the covered parking space next to my car to load up SOMETHING PRESUMABLY REALLY BIG AND HEAVY out of a condo. (Otherwise, why go to so much trouble to get a few inches closer?)
The driver of this truck and trailer has blocked me in, blocked my good friend DB out of her spot, and another neighbor is blocked out of her space, too! Oh hell NO. That’s dangerous business, right there.
After 15 minutes, I have observed that the truck owner has manhandled out of the condo one measly nightstand that I could have loaded up by myself with no problem.
I hope that something else that is super heavy is loaded up before long and it’s worth blocking three working women’s parking spaces because when one or both of those two women come home and can’t park, there’s going to be some trouble out there.
I’m waiting by my kitchen window for one of them to arrive and frown at the truck and trailer parked rudely in the way — my friend April won’t be able to get into the parking spot belonging to her. Sure, she could park in the guest area and walk a few extra steps, but at quitting time, no one wants to walk a few extra steps. You’ve walked around all day in shoes that are gorgeous and make your legs look awesome, but when 5:30 p.m. rolls around and you are ready to get out of those rotten criminal b**tards called designer shoes, every step is like walking 6.27 miles on shards of glass.
That truck owner better get ready. His lunch better be packed in a Gilligan’s Island lunch box with a matching thermos, because in a show of solidarity for working women wearing pretty shoes all day, I’m going to grab my purse and run out screaming like a banshee, “Move the truck…get that trailer out of my way!! I have a broken nail — it’s an emergency and have to get to the salon before it closes!!!”
If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll reverse that pathetic parking job he’s done and run for his life.
My crazy came out a little bit today at the College Station movie theater today, right before the matinee’.
I went to a nice *lady* movie…the One Hundred Foot Journey. This was not my usual movie choice, I am a lover of gritty stories about gangsters, mobsters, pirates, or war.
I was with a nice lady, a nurse–this personality should not be confused with nice lemon-meringue-pie-making church-lady-types…totally different, those healthcare professionals…wicked senses of humor, they save lives for a living…very stand up, and they know how to play a joke. (Be patient, I am staging the scene…)
Another healthcare professional and her friend were going to meet us there.
So, the nurse and I are walking through the parking lot and into the movie and a horn blares off at us like “GET OUT OF THE WAY. NO, SERIOUSLY, MOVE IT.” Obviously, since NICE LADIES would not do that, I assume….nay—I BELIEVE strongly in my heart that it is the other nice but fun-loving woman furloughed from the hospital for the day and her friend. I know they like a joke so I turn around and mouth off. It might have been a little bit of something pejorative if you weren’t on the inside of the joke.
Except…well, that’s right…it wasn’t our friends. It was a car load of genuinely NICE ladies who were honking at their friends…probably fresh out of church…and, there I was…gesturing and asking “dubya tee ef…do you want a piece of me?”
SO…yes, my crazy came out at the Cine-mark today…I don’t think I can get it back in.
You know the honey badger.
“Honey Badger just don’t give a $h1t.”
Unfortunately, being 50+ turned me into one.
I will let you know how that works out for me.
Aw, heck. I need to back up a little bit and cut out the vague-booking.